State EMS




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- Skin signs tell all.
- Sick people don’t bitch.
- Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, and any variation on this is a bad thing.
- About 85% of assault & battery patients more than likely deserved it.
- Always know the protocols, so you can find a way around them.
- The more equipment you see on a EMT’s belt, the newer they are. The more patches someone has on their jacket, the fewer actual patients they have ever seen. If they have instructor rockers, they have NEVER seen a real patient.
- When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
- All falls, bleeding, and seizures stop…..eventually.
- All people will eventually die no matter what you do.
- If the child is quiet, be scared.
- It’s not YOUR emergency!
- Never trust the ambulance to be fully stocked. If you don’t have it improvise (improvisation is the mother of invention).
- Probies always look for large things in the smallest compartment and vice versa.
- If the patient is going to vomit aim them at your partner.
- Sick people only call because they couldn’t get into their car. They apologize for bothering you when you have sick people to see. Be scared when you see these people.
- When a pregnant woman says “The baby is coming,” you’d better believe her.
- When a patient says “I think I’m going to die,” he is probably right.
- There are more than ten rules.
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