MSU EMS


Ten Rules of EMS
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  1. Skin signs tell all.
  2. Sick people don’t bitch.
  3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, and any variation on this is a bad thing.
  4. About 85% of assault & battery patients more than likely deserved it.
  5. Always know the protocols, so you can find a way around them.
  6. The more equipment you see on a EMT’s belt, the newer they are. The more patches someone has on their jacket, the fewer actual patients they have ever seen. If they have instructor rockers, they have NEVER seen a real patient.
  7. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
  8. All falls, bleeding, and seizures stop…..eventually.
  9. All people will eventually die no matter what you do.
  10. If the child is quiet, be scared.
  11. It’s not YOUR emergency!
  12. Never trust the ambulance to be fully stocked. If you don’t have it improvise (improvisation is the mother of invention).
  13. Probies always look for large things in the smallest compartment and vice versa.
  14. If the patient is going to vomit aim them at your partner.
  15. Sick people only call because they couldn’t get into their car. They apologize for bothering you when you have sick people to see. Be scared when you see these people.
  16. When a pregnant woman says “The baby is coming,” you’d better believe her.
  17. When a patient says “I think I’m going to die,” he is probably right.
  18. There are more than ten rules.
Humor
Murphy's Law
The Memo
Redneck Terms
Ten Laws of EMS
Terminology
Acronyms
EMS Yahoo
Buried Son